Poet Heather Dickson shares her poem APRICOT with us. We’ll be publishing Heather’s work regualry, so check in soon for the next installment.
APRICOT (Health Anxiety)
Hypochondria is what I’ve been told
I have, but health anxiety sounds so much better
I sometimes feel like, I’m walking
In an apricot coloured jelly somedays
It will hold my weight but other times, I sink down
Never reaching the bottom and I worry constantly
Over my own health, checking for any signs
Of lumps or bumps or any signs of being ill
I don’t want to be ill
The anxiety itself feeds thoughts
Making my head pound and my heart race
I have asked people for reassurance
And perhaps, they can put my mind at ease
About the doctor’s tests, because I worry
They might be wrong or they have
Overlooked something
I don’t watch, any medical programs on TV
But sometimes I’ll spend hours, looking online
To see if I can find something, that helps
To ease the storm inside my head
I avoid physical activities, in fear that it worsens
So far, the self-help has made the apricot jelly
More stable, I’ll write in my diary
And keep busy with other tasks
But I’ve noticed the worries are preventing me
From leading a normal life
The doctor suggested therapy, I’m willing to try it
So, one day my mind doesn’t feel
Like it’s a jelly swamp.
Heather Dickson
