As part of Mental Health Awareness Week, our volunteer Antje shares a poem she’s written about living with Selective Mutism (SM).
SM is a communication anxiety disorder where a person is unable to talk in certain social situations in public while being able to talk normally in other situations (usually with close family at home).
Imagine
Imagine you are on the bus and not sure where to get off, imagine you are unable to ask anyone to help you.
Imagine you got lost somewhere, imagine you cannot ask passers-by for directions.
Imagine you want to go to the cinema but you are unable to say that you would like to buy a ticket.
Imagine you fancy an ice cream cone but you are unable to tell the seller what flavours you want.
Imagine you need the toilet in a public place but you cannot ask for the keys.
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Imagine you would have lots to say in group discussions but you cannot say anything at all.
Imagine you think you never get a job because you usually fail to convince employers at the interview stage.
Imagine you sometimes immediately stop talking to a certain person when another person approaches you both.
Imagine sometimes you remain silent when asked a personal question, imagine you might offend strangers by not replying.
Imagine sometimes you see a friend in the street but you are unable to say ‘hi’.
Imagine sometimes you want to leave but you cannot say goodbye.
Imagine sometimes you get something nice but you are unable to say thank you.
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Imagine you cannot speak in certain situations.
Imagine sometimes you can speak freely but sometimes you cannot.
Imagine sometimes you are scared when speech is expected.
Imagine it is not a choice but it is often misunderstood.
Imagine you are frequently told you were shy, stupid or rude.
Imagine people sometimes treat you as if you did not understand a word.
Imagine sometimes you feel like you are invisible.
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Imagine you are intelligent and educated.
Imagine you are confident, you have a tongue, you are generally able to talk.
Imagine you love chatting with your parents and siblings at home.
Imagine you actually never stop talking at home.
Imagine you know you can scream and shout at home if necessary.
Imagine you know you have good communication skills.
Imagine you know you can be a leader.
Imagine you know you are a good person.
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Imagine you are suffering from selective mutism (SM).
Imagine you sometimes have a fear of speaking.
Imagine you are physically able to speak and you can do so when you are in a relaxed and comfortable situation, for example at home but you cannot speak in other situations such as at school or at work or with strangers.
Imagine you are in a fight with yourself every day.
Imagine you know you can overcome SM.
